Michael Peck

Ask most men what they expect to find difficult about a first Tantra workshop and they will usually name nudity, touch, or vulnerability. Ask them afterwards, and a surprising number say the hardest part was slowing down. They had to stay with a single sensation for minutes at a time, without reaching for the next one, without steering it toward an outcome, and without filling the silence. The speed we’ve been trained into Most queer men, like most men generally, learn early

Kichi: I think the title and topic is too general. It needs more of a hook to get people to click. E.g. Somatic Techniques to Build Desire. A lot of men come to this work convinced their desire has simply disappeared — that whatever used to drive attraction, arousal, or interest in sex has quietly switched off, permanently. In almost every case I've seen, that's not actually what's happened. The desire isn't gone. It's buried under something else. Why it feels gone Desire do

Ask most men what "good sex" means and you'll get some version of a performance checklist: lasting long enough, being hard enough, making sure a partner finishes, doing the right things in the right order. Almost none of that checklist has anything to do with what actually makes sex feel good. Where the checklist comes from Most men didn't invent this checklist themselves — it was absorbed, mostly from porn, some from locker-room (or drag brunch) talk, some from a general cul

For most men, erectile difficulty or low libido triggers the same first response: something is wrong with me, and it needs to be fixed as quickly and quietly as possible. In a lot of cases, that framing gets in the way of actually understanding what's happening — because these aren't usually malfunctions. They're usually messages. Why "broken" is the wrong frame The body doesn't typically produce erectile difficulty or low libido for no reason. In the absence of an underlying

One of the most common questions I get is whether someone should start with a group workshop or go straight to 1-1 sessions. The honest answer is that they're not competing options — they do different things, and most men benefit from both at different points. What group work gives you There's something group settings do that 1-1 simply can't replicate: normalisation. Sitting in a room with a dozen other men, watching them be nervous, awkward, and then gradually present, does

Edging gets talked about online mostly as a performance hack — a way to last longer, or make orgasm more intense. In a Neo-Tantra context, it's used for something different: building your capacity to stay present with high arousal without needing to release it immediately. What edging actually is Edging means bringing yourself close to orgasm and then backing off before you reach it — deliberately staying in that heightened state rather than moving straight through it. In mai

Say your shoulder hurts. The natural question is: "What's wrong with my shoulder?" Sometimes there really is a local problem that needs treating. But sometimes the symptom is only one part of a bigger picture. The pain is real I want to be clear about this first. When I say the place you feel pain isn't the whole story, I'm not saying it's all in your head. I'm not saying every physical symptom has an emotional cause. And I'm not saying your physio or doctor is wrong. The pai

We live in a culture that's very good at telling us what to do with our bodies. Stretch more. Train harder. Release the tension. Correct your posture. Push through. Fix the imbalance. Sometimes that's exactly what we need. But there's another possibility: sometimes we need to do less. The "more" mindset A lot of us bring the same push-and-force attitude to our wellbeing that we bring to work. We brace through the day, then we brace through our workouts, our stretching, even o

Anxiety can start as a thought. But very quickly it becomes a whole-body experience. Your heart races. Your breathing changes. Your muscles tense. Your stomach drops. Your attention narrows and your thoughts speed up. Suddenly you're not just thinking that something is wrong. Your whole body is responding as though something is wrong. Why thinking your way out doesn't always work When anxiety hits, most of us try to talk ourselves down. "I'm fine." "There's nothing to worry a

We're taught to read, write, count and solve problems. Hardly anyone teaches us how to feel what's happening inside our own bodies. So a lot of us get by on guesswork. We notice tension only when it turns into pain. We notice stress only when we snap at someone. Or we feel a strong sensation and assume something must be wrong. What is interoception? Interoception is your sense of what's going on inside you: your heartbeat, your breath, hunger, temperature, tension. Researcher

Most people arrive at a TRE® session already tense. They've come from work, from the commute, from their phone, from their head. Asking the body to start shaking straight away isn't always the kindest place to begin. That's why, in my Nervous System Reset workshops, we start with Yin Yoga. What Yin Yoga is Yin is a slow, quiet style of yoga. Poses are held for several minutes, usually on the floor, with the muscles as relaxed as possible. There's nothing to achieve and nothin

Most Tantra spaces weren't built with queer men in mind. That's not always obvious from the outside — the language often sounds inclusive — but the lived experience of being in a mostly straight, mixed-gender workshop is different from being in a room built specifically for queer men, and that difference matters more than it might seem. What's actually different A lot of Tantra content assumes a specific dynamic: heterosexual polarity, "masculine" and "feminine" energy framed

If you've never been to a Tantra for GBTQ+ Men workshop, the not-knowing is usually the biggest barrier — bigger than any actual discomfort with the practice itself. So here's a straightforward walkthrough of what a first time actually looks like. Before you arrive You don't need a partner. You don't need experience. You don't need to have "figured yourself out" first — most of the men in the room are there precisely because they haven't. The only real preparation is showing

A lot of queer men have spent years in therapy talking about shame, and still feel it show up in their body the moment things get intimate. That's not a failure of therapy. It's a sign that some of this material doesn't live in the part of you that talking reaches. Why talking has limits Talk therapy works with narrative — the story of what happened, what it meant, how it shaped you. That's genuinely valuable work, and for a lot of men it's the first place healing starts. But

Most men don't start with a 1-1. They start in a room full of strangers, at a group workshop, half-convinced they're going to feel completely out of place. And then something shifts, and a few months later they're asking about individual sessions. Here's what that arc actually tends to look like. The first workshop For most men, the first workshop is really about survival — not physically, but in the sense of just getting through the discomfort of being new. You don't know th

You function. You show up, you get things done, people probably think you're fine — maybe even that you handle stress well. And underneath that, you can't actually switch off. Not at night, not on holiday, not when there's nothing left to do. High-functioning stress This is one of the most common things I see: people who are successful and capable on the outside, running on adrenaline and cortisol on the inside. It doesn't look like falling apart. It looks like being unable t

Not knowing what to expect is one of the biggest reasons people put off trying TRE®. Here's a straightforward walkthrough of what an actual session looks like, start to finish. Before you begin A session starts with a short grounding meditation to connect with the breath and our internal resource. After that there's a short series of exercises — light stretching and mild muscle fatigue, mostly in the legs and hips. These prepare the body for what comes next. Nothing about thi

Fight-or-flight isn't just a dramatic, in-the-moment reaction. For a lot of people, it's a background setting their body never fully switches off from. The signs Waking up at 3am and not being able to get back to sleep. Feeling wired but exhausted at the same time. A racing mind that won't quiet down even when nothing urgent is happening. Irritability or a short fuse that doesn't match the size of what triggered it. Tension that lives in the same places — jaw, shoulders, ches

Every mammal has an inborn mechanism for discharging stress from the body. Watch a wild animal after a threat has passed — a deer, a rabbit — and it will often tremble or shake before returning to grazing, as though nothing happened. Humans have the same reflex. Most of us have simply lost easy access to it. What is the vagus nerve? The vagus nerve, also known as the vagal nerves, carry signals between your brain, heart and digestive system. They’re a key part of your parasym

Say the word "Tantra" and most people think of one thing. It's an understandable assumption — and it's also the reason a lot of men who'd genuinely benefit from this work never look into it. The misconception Modern Neo-Tantra gets reduced to a sex technique in a lot of online content — a set of positions or breathing tricks marketed as a shortcut to better sex. That framing misses almost everything the practice is actually built on, and it sells the whole tradition short. Cl